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an epicene moment


there was a long queue for the men's room at café luxembourg the other night. the ladies room, surprisingly, was unoccupied.

yet none of the well groomed gentlemen--though they were fidgeting rather uncomfortably--seemed inclined to venture through the door marked 'W', and violate that unwritten commandment of bourgeois manners which dictates: "thou shalt not transgress thy socially prescribed gender constraints (at least not in public)".

so displaying an utter disregard for decorum, deafened by nature's call and deaf to culture's caveats, i headed directly into the vacant ladies' room.

i emerged only moments later, to be confronted by several women, each of whom glared at me as if i had sullied the sanctity of some sacred institution.

"pardon me, ladies," i said with an air of refinement, "...just getting in touch with my feminine side."